Shattered Glass Ops: Proof That New Jersey is Run By People Without Souls

The New York Times ran an article concerning the ever-pressing issue of the volume of the music played by ice cream trucks. Citizens of Stafford, New Jersey are beside themselves with anger over the apparently offensive music, stating that "... [it] should be considered as much a nuisance as the roar of a low-flying jet or the screech of a car alarm," not a joyful reminder that life has meaning.

The issue went before the Stafford Town Council and the ordinance was passed by a vote of 4 to 2. The law states that drivers are forbidden to "use a sound device, mechanical bell, mechanical music, mechanical noise, speakers, amplifiers or any other similar type of sound device." After much contention, drivers were at least permitted to use a handheld bell.

Some weeks later after the smoke cleared, an interesting insight into the case was revealed: Mayor Block's lactose intolerant daughter reportedly launched into "hysterical fits" when the chiming music of the approaching truck could be heard.

(source).