It's not because of the Thanksgiving parade or all that warm-and-fuzzy-family-togetherness crap. No, this sole bright spot in the gray, bleak month of November is made even more special because I have three Thanksgiving dinners. Yes, three. Divorce isn't such a bad thing.
Statistically, I heard somewhere that about 50% percent of people will probably deal with this joyous dilemma. As a seasoned multi-Thanksgiving dinner attendee, I have a few valuable bits of advice that will ensure success and minimize phrases such as, "No pie for me, I already ate at Mom's." Because that is just criminal and un-American.
#1 Don't waste your time with rolls.
Rolls are for rookies. They fill up your stomach and turn you into a useless lump. I know, they are so tempting because they hit the table first, but seriously, don't do it. Save that precious space for stuff that matters. Unless we are talking about crescent rolls, that's a different story.
#2 Getting full? Put some gravy on it and quit whining.
It's your mind playing tricks on you. This feeling usually sets in at the second Thanksgiving meal. Your stomach knows better, just keep going.
#3 Never pass on pie.
How often do you have pie? Don't skip it, life's short and whip cream is the most delightful substance created.
An unexpected upside to gorging yourself is that you'll put on some vital weight that will keep you from getting trampled at Target on Black Friday. Throw some elbows! You need that 504 inch TV for $699!
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